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AK PSYCHOTHERAPY
About
About Me
Approach
Specialties
Trauma Therapy
Anxiety & Overwhelm Therapy
People Pleasing, Codependency, & Perfectionism Therapy
Depression & Burn Out Therapy
Services
Individual Therapy
Professional Consultation
Therapist Support & Consultation Group
EMDR Intensives
FAQs
FAQs
Fees
Blog
Free Consultation
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The Hidden Cost of Hyper-Independence: Why You Struggle to Let Anyone In
Trauma Healing & Relational Wounds Alyssa Kushner, LCSW 8/7/25 Trauma Healing & Relational Wounds Alyssa Kushner, LCSW 8/7/25

The Hidden Cost of Hyper-Independence: Why You Struggle to Let Anyone In

If asking for help makes you feel ashamed or unsafe, you might be struggling with hyper-independence - a protective response rooted in trauma or unmet attachment need. Learn how it forms, how it affects relationships, and how to heal!

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Sometimes what looks or even feels like calm is actually self-protection.⁣
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Hyper-vigilance, control, or emotional numbing can all be ways your nervous system tries to keep you safe!⁣
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But internal safety comes from connection  from being grounded When your nervous system is on alert, you start scanning for danger in people instead of the present moment. ⁣
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You read tone shifts, facial expressions, and silence like survival cues - not just information. You make meaning and create assumptions Quiet signs of hyper-independence!⁣
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It’s not that you don’t want support -⁣
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It’s that your body learned being needed feels safer than needing. It’s a way to protect from your belief that people I’ll ultimately let yo Before you say “yes,” pause.⁣
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So many of us - especially people pleasers, fawners, or those who grew up equating connection with compliance - say yes before we’ve even checked in with ourselves.⁣
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But every “yes” is a
Calling my fellow female therapists 😊⁣
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I am launching a support AND consultation group for therapists who are navigating over-functioning, over-responsibility, recovering people pleasers and my anxious perfectionists!!!⁣
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This 12 week group will Hypervigilance can make it feel like you have to be on all the time. ⁣
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But safety starts with tiny moments of trust - in yourself, in your body, in the present. Reminding yourself that you don’t have to brace for impact 24-7. #hypervigilance Sometimes what feels like calm is actually our body’s way of protecting us from overwhelm. ⁣
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Freeze can look like peace or calm on the outside - but inside, your system might be shut down, disconnected, or running on autopilot.⁣
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If you&rsqu

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Alyssa Kushner, LCSW
alyssakushnerlcsw@gmail.com

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