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AK PSYCHOTHERAPY
About Me
Approach
Trauma Therapy
Anxiety & Overwhelm Therapy
People Pleasing, Codependency, & Perfectionism Therapy
Depression & Burn Out Therapy
Individual Therapy
Professional Consultation
Therapist Support & Consultation Group
EMDR Intensives
FAQs
Fees
Blog
Free Consultation
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Why Anxious and Avoidant Partners Attract (And How to Heal Together)
Relationships & Attachment Alyssa Kushner, LCSW 9/18/25 Relationships & Attachment Alyssa Kushner, LCSW 9/18/25

Why Anxious and Avoidant Partners Attract (And How to Heal Together)

Anxious and avoidant partners often feel stuck in a push-pull cycle - craving closeness yet fearing it. Learn why this happens and how to build healthier connection together.

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Every year I give some reminders that the holidays can be quite overhelming and stressful! So much pressure to feel jolly and grateful, lots of plan, extra family time, highlighting of where you feel you were “supposed to be.” ⁣ ESP for p Here are some small tangible ways to give yourself a little kindness 💕 esp around holidays and seasonal changes - be good to yourself!!! You deserve it #selfcompassion #therapistsofinstagram #selflove Resentment is often the last line of defense after we’ve over-given, over-functioned, or ignored our own needs.⁣ ⁣ It’s not a failure - it’s information.⁣ ⁣ It’s a signal to come back to yourself.⁣ ⁣ Same with bitterness, simm Inner child work is about giving yourself the validation, compassion, and needs you didn’t get growing up.⁣ ⁣ It’s also about permission to be a kid again and play and just have fun!⁣ ⁣ Here are some mantras if you’re doing this typ Avoidant attachment isn’t just being “distant” or even “cold.” ⁣ ⁣ It’s a nervous system going, “Closeness feels good… but also too much and too overwhelming.”⁣ ⁣ You can care deeply about someon When your body hasn’t learned what safety feels like, even healthy relationships can feel overwhelming.⁣ ⁣ Your anxiety doesn’t mean something is wrong - it means something old is being activated. ⁣ ⁣ You fear rejection, abandonment, and
Sometimes what looks or even feels like calm is actually self-protection.⁣ ⁣ Hyper-vigilance, control, or emotional numbing can all be ways your nervous system tries to keep you safe!⁣ ⁣ But internal safety comes from connection from being grounded When your nervous system is on alert, you start scanning for danger in people instead of the present moment. ⁣ ⁣ You read tone shifts, facial expressions, and silence like survival cues - not just information. You make meaning and create assumptions

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Alyssa Kushner, LCSW
alyssakushnerlcsw@gmail.com

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